721002 - Amara Jivana - Los Angeles
- The purport to this song can be heard here
Āmāra Jīvana, 'The Way of Refuge' from Śaraṇāgati by Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura - Gold Series CD 8 Track 3
- āmāra jīvana, sadā pāpe rata,
- nāhiko puṇyera leṣa
- parere udvega, diyāchi ye koto,
- diyāchi jīvere kleśa
I am an impious sinner and have caused others great anxiety and trouble.
- nija sukha lāgi', pāpe nāhi ḍori,
- dayā-hīna svārtha-paro
- para-sukhe duḥkhī, sadā mithya-bhāṣī,
- para-duḥkha sukha-karo
I have never hesitated to perform sinful acts for my own enjoyment. Devoid of all compassion, concerned only with my own selfish interests, I am remorseful seeing others happy. I am a perpetual liar, and the misery of others is a source of great pleasure for me.
- āśeṣa kāmanā, hṛdi mājhe mora,
- krodhī, dambha-parāyaṇa
- mada-matta sadā, viṣaye mohita,
- hiṁsā-garva vibhūṣaṇa
The material desires within the core of my heart are unlimited. I am wrathful, devoted to false pride and arrogance, intoxicated by vanity, and bewildered by worldly affairs. Envy and egotism are the ornaments I wear.
- nidrālasya hata, sukārye virata,
- akārye udyogī āmi
- pratiṣṭha lāgiyā, śāṭhya-ācaraṇa,
- lobha-hata sadā kāmī
Ruined by laziness and sleep, I resist all pious deeds; yet I am very active and enthusiastic to perform wicked acts. For worldly fame and reputation I engage in the practice of deceitfulness. Thus I am destroyed by my own greed and am always lustful.
- e heno durjana, saj-jana-varjita,
- aparādhi nirantara
- śubha-kārya-śūnya, sadānartha-manāḥ,
- nānā duḥkhe jara jara
A vile, wicked man such as this, rejected by godly people, is a constant offender. I am such a person, devoid of all good works, forever inclined toward evil, worn out and wasted by various miseries.
- bārdhakye ekhona, upāya-vihīna,
- tā'te dīna akiñcana
- bhakativinoda, prabhura caraṇe,
- kore duḥkha nivedana
Now in old age, deprived of all means of success, humbled and poor, Bhaktivinoda submits his tale of grief at the feet of the Supreme Lord.